Dear Mr. Adjunct, PhD,
I honestly feel as though you are hoping I fail this class...
PS - Call me because I have a new excuse
I am not hoping that you fail this class. Of the 12 assignments for the class, you have submitted 6 of them and they are each complete works of plagiarism. This is what we spoke about on the day you phoned me. I, being both naive and nice, gave you the benefit of the doubt yet again and let you re-submit your "real work" since you "accidentally" sent me your sources for the assignments (which magically were placed in a Word document and formatted as if they were essays for the class -- along with your name and the assignment identifier!). You have hopelessly failed the class -- either because you have plagiarized every submitted assignment or because you have not submitted a Tea Party thing for the Intro to Hamster-Fur Weaving course. I already gave you allowances for the extenuating circumstances of your house burning down during the first week of class -- even though it was never mentioned in the local newspapers. You said you were moving further away from town to live with family, so I relaxed the attendance policy for you. But now you're living in a homeless shelter and don't have computer access? Yet you submit your "assignments" on-time every week? I'm not buying this or
your next tea partying excuse. Either turn in *some* assignment by last week or fail the class.
PS - Expect an owl from the Committee Randomly Against the Plagiarsphere. While they want to continue making money off of you (err, keep you enrolled), they might eventually get tired of dealing with you.