Thursday, June 28, 2012

Misery abounds in non-teaching tasks also.

One of my non-teaching tasks here at my R-1 university in Far Flung Colony is to handle graduate admissions into our very select programme in Deep-Sea-Diving. Very early this morning I got an email from Terry the Tadpole who has just finished a diploma in Fresh Water Paddling at Lowly ranked community college one state away. Terry wants to enter directly into the second year of our two year program. So I asked Terry to send me a sample of one of his diploma assignments. I duly received a mediocre assignment on Fly Fishing, which he told me was graded as an A+. [note we do not have grade inflation here, A+s are rarely given and are a big deal]. I read the assignment and found it riddled with typological errors among other things. The following email interchange occured.

Red: I see your assignment is full of typos and grammatical errors. You would not get an A plus for an assignment with errors like these here at the Deep Sea Diving Program. What topic were you wanting to pursue for your dissertation, as I will need to see if I can find a suitable supervisor for you?

Terry Tadpole: I take this personally--as an extremely rude way to response to a student query. How dare you question my ability as a student and hurt my desire to advance, and also insult the person who assessed my work-- based on grammatical errors and typos alone. I would assume that people who have PhDs would be better at being able to understand that these are unimportant issues. Next, i want to enter in a Deep Sea Diving program, not a Grammar program. I am no longer interested in R-1 University as I now know what sort of people I am likely be dealing in there.

What I actually replied: No offence was intended by my comment. I hope you will find success in your studies as you pursue them elsewhere.

What I wish I could have said: ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND???? Its 7am and I actually replied to your annoying emails. You come from Lowly College where at least one of your instructors is obviously an imbecile. You think the way to get me, the director of this prestigious program to admit you into my program is to insult me? You think grammar is unimportant when you are writing a dissertation? GO DROWN in the nearest puddle, moron.

What I should have replied: thank you!!! (for losing interest in us)

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